When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier ~ Roy E. Disney
RUNNING ON EMPTY
Have you ever found yourself in a place where a time-out has to be called…a moment when you recognize things are getting out of hand? Only it’s not the unruly kids, a recalcitrant spouse or an unreasonably demanding boss that is in need of a gut check, but the person you find yourself staring at in the mirror day after day; you.
I reached that special place several weeks ago and in a moment it seems everything stopped. The normal pleasures I received from simple things seemed to vanish and I found myself wondering about my own values and what I felt was actually important in my life. Looking back over the year I can see now that much of it had to do with where I began to place my value.
Blogging and social media began to trump everything. I told myself at the time that it was necessary to get a good start during my first year of blogging, to establish myself and build a foundation. Yes, all these things are important, but not at the cost of everything else. I pushed myself day and night to put out content (which I enjoyed doing, don’t get me wrong) at the expense of the relationships going on right around me. I lost touch with others and myself in the process. I couldn’t stop; it was almost an addiction.
One day in November I abruptly turned off my computer and walked away. I came to the realization that things were getting out of hand and I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing anymore. The stress far outweighed any pleasure I received in working on my blog.
It was time to make the hard decision. Could I continue Pure Grace Farms and not allow it to become the central focus of my life? I pondered the question for several weeks and honestly was not sure of a decision until just a few days ago. I had to take a hard look at myself and what I was missing to have become so totally dependent on this little old blog to retain a sense of self-worth.
The things I discovered are mine and God’s alone and something I will continue to work on. In the process I recognized that I love the connection to the world and the friends I have made through my humble little blog and it is not an all or nothing proposition I am faced with. One day at a time, one post at a time is all that is expected.
I am excited again to get blogging…that is enough.
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