“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” ―C.S. Lewis
Today is Valentine’s Day. A modern day celebration of romance, love, and, let’s be honest, people making a lot of money. According to Statistics Brain 13.9 billion dollars will be spent, 180 million Valentine’s Day cards will be exchanged, and the average number of children conceived, 11,000. Needless to say, flowers will be given, candy will be overly consumed, and jewelry will be passed out in great quantities.
Even knowing all the statistics, I still get sentimental and want in on all the fun. Who wouldn’t want a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers from someone who thinks you’re special? I enjoy the feelings that come with Valentines gifts. I get all warm and fuzzy.
My relationship with my husband has many of these days, not just on Valentine’s Day and I am thankful for them. On the other hand, we have days that are not so special, no warm fuzzies anywhere to be found. I get mad, slam a door, and go sulk in my bedroom. Tim retreats, withdraws within himself, and moments are tense. You know what I am talking about. We all have them. So, what about love then? Is it still there or has love flown because I can’t feel it?
Today’s general consensus would be; “If (fill in the blank) doesn’t make you feel good, go find something or someone that will”, and off we go in search of a warm fuzzy to make us feel good. The main problem with this line of reasoning, I think, is that it tends to be all about me. The focus remains on what I am getting, what I am feeling and frankly, misses the mark by a long shot.
I can say this with confidence because I have lived this flawed mentality out in my own life, always searching for someone to make me feel good. Fortunately, over time I began to understand that love was not about receiving, but more about giving and commitment. I started to look for opportunities to fill the needs of others and not merely my own. A funny thing happened when I began to give freely and without conditions. I found that my own needs were met. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day. Now, go give yourself away.
There is nothing like a really good cup of hot cocoa to help tame the “will winter ever go away” blues and this rich creamy hot cup of cocoa with homemade spiced marshmallows and a dabble of whiskey (optional, of course) does the trick.
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